How to stop ruminating

The act of rumination has been a topic that has come up several times with clients in my practice during the past few weeks and is even something I have recently been noticing within myself. So I figured, why not explore this topic for this month's blog post?

Let's begin with what rumination is.

Rumination is when we engage with a repetitive negative thought pattern that may loop continuously in the mind with no clear ending or conclusion. It often occurs in response to a stressful situation, such as a past event, an upcoming event, the end of a relationship, or a specific fear or phobia. 

Rumination can be a way for us to regain a sense of control over a situation. Some may believe rumination may eventually assist us in gaining insight or clarity into an experience. It is also a way our brain may attempt to process negative emotions after a stressful event. 

The repetitive, negative cycling of ruminative thought can often lead one to suffer from worsening anxiety and depression or even lead to desires to end relationships, self-harm, or take one's life. The more we ponder, flip-flop over, and scrutinize thoughts, the stronger the signal that danger is present or imminent in our surroundings. The more we think, the more the danger bell goes off. In this moment of thought looping, we are teaching our brains to feel less anxious or uncomfortable. Feeling as if we must take action, find a solution, or solve the emotion, rather than experience it and let it fade.

One fact I often like to share with clients that I learned from neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is that an emotion is a chemical process associated with our subconscious mind that only lasts 90 seconds in the body when we react to something. Any remaining emotional response after 90 seconds is due to our minds coming into play and using thoughts to catastrophize, judge, or push back against the felt emotion. 

Thinking about an uncomfortable emotion often feels safer and like we are "doing something" about it. When we remain in our heads, we get a false sense of self-protection: "If I just think about this long enough, maybe I'll feel better, maybe I'll find that solution, and I won't have to feel this anymore!"

So what can we do instead?

First, label the experience of "thinking" as, quite literally, "thinking." "Oh, welp, there goes my brain again, just running off with thoughts." Or, "Thanks, brain! I see you're trying to protect me by thinking of all the worst-case scenarios that could happen, but I think I've got this one!" If we can identify this experience, we can regain control over the act of rumination by stopping the loop or at least separating it a bit. 

Next, allow yourself to take in your current surroundings. What are some cues in your environment that can help you identify that you are actually safe and there is no imminent danger or threat to your life? Maybe you can step outside for a moment, breathe in some fresh air, and name the objects or colors you see around you. Even the act of looking at something green in nature can trigger our bodies' relaxation response. 

To help soothe the body further, consider engaging in a deep breathing exercise such as straw breathing, box breathing, or just noticing your breath. You may work on grounding your body by feeling your feet on the ground or noticing what is supporting your body in the moment. Maybe you shake it out physically or use a form of bilateral tapping to release the stress response from the inside. 

Once we have stopped the loop and calmed a bit of the body's survival response, try to identify the emotion you are feeling inside. Is it anxiety, sadness, or anger? What exactly are you feeling? And can you locate where that feeling is inside of your body? When you locate and exist with the emotion in your body, you are no longer feeding the sensation with thoughts, conclusions, and stories. You are allowing yourself to FEEL the feeling and see it through to its conclusion because, I promise, emotions have an endpoint. 

Finally, try to release all judgment of the identified emotion. Maybe we found that we are experiencing some sadness or anxiety. Can that just BE? Can we identify, experience, and then provide compassion to that part of us experiencing sadness or anxiety? How might we show up for that part of ourselves for the rest of the day? A hot shower, some quality time with a friend, a slow, mindful walk outside, our favorite meal for dinner? 

One final trick that you may find helpful is finding a grounding anchor. When the thought loop starts to ramp up again, can you return to a place in the body, an object in your surroundings, an activity, or a compassionate thought that can bring you back to your center and assist you in preventing another loop? 

I hope you found this brief exploration of rumination helpful in your healing journey!